Dad is not gay Read online

  »Dad, people didn’t have watches in the Middles Ages,« Benno informed him reproachfully.

  Tom stopped. »You’re already dressed!«

  Benno grinned. »Of course, we want to go with you.«

  Tom sighed and went back to the kitchen to make them some toast.

  »Stop that, Dad! We’re having buns.« Anton switched-off the toaster and poured them two glasses of juice. Then, he gave one to his younger brother.

  Tapps. Tapps. Tapps.

  Penny came running downstairs carrying her princess doll, her hair wild. »You’re going, Daddy?«

  »Penny-sweetie, good morning, have you slept well?«

  Penny nodded, her lower lip down on trembling. Then, she opened her little mouth and let out a heart-rending sob.

  Shocked, Tom jumped over to her and took her into his arms. »You’ll follow with Mom later,« he tried to cheer her up but Penny burst into tears. »But…I… want…to… go…with…you, Daddy!« Tears rolled down her chubby cheeks.

  Tom rolled his eyes.

  It was, technically seen, almost impossible to take a three-year-old to the spektakulum. On the other hand, it broke his heart letting her back like this.

  Anton and Benno leaned down to her little sister and caressed her. »Don’t cry! You can accompany us,« Benno said full of pity.

  »Of course, we’ll take care of you!«

  Tom looked at Anton knowingly. »I know how you’re taking care. As far as you’re discovering something more interesting than your sister, you’ll be gone.«

  »That’s not true at all,« Anton said insulted.

  Tom lifted Penny up. »Okay, princess, you’re coming with us, but you have to be dressed in five minutes.«

  Penny was beaming all over her face. She nodded enthusiastically and struggled to be put back on the floor. Together with her brothers she ran upstairs and let them help her getting dressed.

  Tom made a note for Zoe and packed the picnic basket with drinks, buns and cookies.

  Half an hour later, the sun was shining high above their heads even though it was early in the morning, they reached the park.

  Mark was already waiting for Tom at the club’s knight’s camp and greeted him with an unbelieving this-is-not-seriously-meant-look.

  Tom shrugged his shoulders and smiled apologizing.

  Tim and Robin were already disguised and Theo sat at a table in front of a beer mug.

  »Morning, Theo! You’re also here today?« Tom shook his fat hand.

  Theo panted. »Of course, our team urgently needs a monk who is collecting taxes and who is taking care of law and order.«

  Tom smiled, lost in thought.

  He had just discovered Luca who strolled over the lawn dressed up in a very smart knight’s costume.

  Penny took his hand and held it tight. »Is this the man from TV?«

  »Yes, sweetie, this is Luca Steffen.« His heart leapt as Luca smiled at him. He could not help thinking of their oral sex and felt a wave of excitement.

  »Good morning,« Luca said with his male voice and shook hands with everyone.

  Finally, he bowed to Penny. »And you have to be the princess Penelope!«

  Penny nodded in awe. She freed her little hand only hesitatingly out of Tom’s and took Luca’s hand instead.

  »What a beautiful dress you’re wearing, princess!« Luca said in a respectful voice.

  Penny cast down her eyes. »It’s rose!«

  Luca laughed softly. »Yes, it’s rose and really charming.« He gave Tom a wink and got up again.

  Tom embraced his sons. »Luca, may I introduce you to my sons? This is Benno, he is seven and this is Anton, he is already thirteen.«

  Luca shook their hands. »Hello, you two! Nice to meet you! I’ve been very anxious to meet you.«

  »Why?« asked Benno with a severe face.

  Luca hummed and hawed. »Well,« seeking for help he looked at Tom, »Because your Dad is an amazing fencer and I thought that such an incredible fighter must have fantastic kids.«

  Benno was content with it and sat down on the lawn to read his knight book.

  »Benno, please take your seat on the bench. The ground is too cold as yet.«

  Benno stood up and hesitated.

  Luca carried his sword at his belt and took it off to put it into the tent. Then, he went to the table and greeted Theo. »I greet thee, Brother!«

  »I greet thee, too, noble knight!« Theo bowed down and pointed to the bar. »Please help yourself and keep my company!«

  »Thanks, Brother!« Luca went to the bar and poured himself a glass of apple juice.

  Penny watched him with big eyes. Then, she summoned all her courage, went over to him and nudged him. »Excuse me?«

  »Yes, lovely princess?«

  »May I also have something to drink?«

  Luca bowed and gave her his glass of juice. »Does this apple juice suit you, young lady?«

  »I’m a princess,« Penny corrected him snubbed.

  Luca bowed again and gave Tom the eye.

  Tom blushed and looked bashfully at the ground.

  »Forgive me, lovely princess! It may be apple juice?«

  Penny nodded and pointed at the bottle of water. »But with water, please!«

  »Of course!« Luca hurried up pouring the water into her glass.

  Tom joined them. »You don’t need to serve my daughter. I do that.«

  »Luca is a prince, Daddy!« Penny drank.

  Tom raised his brows. »And what does that mean, young lady?«

  »She is a princess, noble knight,« Luca corrected him and earned a vehement nod in agreement.

  Tom grinned. »But a prince doesn’t bring drinks to the princess, Penny. That’s the servants’ job.«

  Penny looked around. »Where are the servants?«

  Benno came and put his hands on his hips. »You don’t know at all, what a servant is, Penny, do you?«

  Penny’s eyes filled with tears. »Not at all,« she whispered.

  Tom lifted her up and kissed her. »All of the knights and princes will be your servants today. They’ll bring you something to eat and to drink, don’t they?«

  Penny nodded.

  Benno shook his head and held up his knight book. «That’s not true at all, Dad. Princesses had their own servants. Knights only protected them and princes wanted to marry them.«

  Penny looked at Luca reverentially. »Do you also want to marry me?«

  Luca winked at her impishly. »If you’re big enough…«

  Penny stretched her chin. »I’m already grown-up.«

  Benno pulled at her dress. »But you’re not allowed to marry at the age of three.«

  »There you see, Penny, your brother is right. You have to wait to get married.« Tom put his daughter down again and gave her a chocolate bun. »Watch out while eating otherwise you’ll have ugly chocolate spots on your dress.«

  Penny nodded and sat down at the table far away enough from Brother Theo about whom she had got a funny feeling.

  Theo pulled faces and frightened her even more.

  »Stop that, Theo!« Tom barked at his club colleague and placed Benno and Anton next to Penny.

  Theo stood up grumbling and went into the tent.

  »Doesn’t he like kids?« Luca asked scarcely audible.

  Tom shrugged. »Not much!«

  He joined his kids and enjoyed the short moment, when Luca shortly caressed his back.

  An incredible feeling rushed through his stomach and he had troubles to concentrate again on his kids – and to keep his blood in higher regions.

  »When do you have your first fight, Dad?« Anton asked.

  Tom glanced at his wrist. »Well, I could have answered if I hadn’t listened to Benno and left my watch at home.«

  »People didn’t go by the clock in the Middles Ages, Daddy,« Benno interposed.

  »And when did they eat?« Penny asked.

  Luca, who had gotten another glass of apple juice, joined them and leaned forward. »They ate whe
n they were hungry, lovely princess.«

  Penny smirked with two pert dimples on her cheeks. »And when did they go to bed?«

  »When they were tired,« Anton answered bored.

  »Not at all,« Benno cried out, »they went to bed when the sun was set because they didn’t have light anymore.«

  »You’re a smartass,« Anton scolded.

  »Get off your brother’s back!« Tom warned with a severe look. He felt Luca’s eyes on him and got increasingly restless.

  »Benno is right,« Luca confirmed, «people stood up at the crack of dawn.«

  »Not everyone could afford to have a cock,« Benno corrected him.

  Luca nodded. »You’re a smart little boy, Benno!«

  Tom smiled and stroked his son’s hair. »Benno is our little professor. He devours every book.«

  Benno gave him a one-can’t eat-books-look and drank a sip of apple juice. »Sometimes, people stood up when the sun was dawning.«

  »Tom, your boy is a real clever lad,« Theo said with roars of laughter. The cord, which held the brown monk’s habit together, tottered considerably, almost as if it was too much for it to embrace the fat body.

  Tom made a face, but kept silent.

  »Are you also a knight?« Theo asked Benno.

  Shy, Benno shook his head. »I’m only seven years old. At the age of seven a boy couldn’t become a knight, but only a squire.«

  Theo’s eyebrows raised in astonishment. »Someone has listened in history lessons, hasn’t he?«

  »Benno is only visiting the first class, Theo. They don’t have history,« Tom said. He got his picnic basket and offered buns to Luca.

  Luca took one and bowed. »Thanks!«

  They looked at each other longer than necessary until Tom noticed Theo’s look at them.

  »So,« Tom laughed out loud and pointed to the entrance. »Guys, the first visitors are coming!«

  His diversionary maneuver worked.

  They jumped up like scared chicken and ran around. Luca ran his hand over Tom’s hand back and caressed his butt.

  Tom blushed.

  His heart leapt and this was not due to the people coming in crowds.

  But the next two hours, Tom did not have time to think about his feelings for Luca. He had his hands full making fun with the visitors and watching Penny. When the sun was at its highest point, Zoe took the trouble to finally come together with Maja.

  »Oh, you’re already coming?« Tom greeted her under pressure.

  »Why? Is it too much for you to take care of the kids for a few hours?« She looked daggers at her husband who ran after Penny again.

  He caught her and brought her back to the camp. »Penny! Here are so many people that you might get lost. Please don’t run away!«

  Penny put her hands on her hips. »Well, okay. But then, Luca has to marry me.«

  Zoe giggled.

  »Very funny,« Tom said, »You could help me instead of standing around laughing.«

  »I’m not standing around, love!«

  »Haven’t you slept well?« Tom went to the tent to get his sword.

  Luca was already waiting for him, raring to go. »Did your wife come?«

  »Yes,« Tom replied softly and rolled his eyes, »She is uptight with no end in sight. I guess she’s got her menstruation.«

  Luca made an understanding face and passed Tom his sword. »Well, then, you can fight now.«

  Tom frowned. «Madame won’t look after the kids today.«

  Luca nodded and left the tent.

  Confused, Tom watched him go.

  »If I didn’t know better, I’d say, you’re sinning, Tom.«

  »I don’t know what sin you’re talking about, Theo! Honor your wife even though she is cranky without reason?«

  Theo intimated a smile and approached him to be able to whisper. »No. I’m talking about forbidden carnality.«

  »Forbidden carnality?« Tom pretended to be innocent and hoped his body would not prove him a liar. He forced himself to remember his last arrest and his plan worked - he did not blush.

  Theo leaned forward unpleasantly near and breathed directly into Tom’s face. »I’m not talking about your marriage. I’m talking about our handsome guest star.«

  »Handsome? I haven’t noticed as yet,« Tom lied. Shit!

  Now he colored!

  He turned pink, which was not missed by Theo.

  Tom glared at him angrily. »What are you trying to allege me to have done? In contrast to you, I’m married for a long time.«

  »Exactly!«

  Theo’s self-satisfied grinning went on Tom’s nerves. Ignoring him, he left the tent and walked right up to Zoe. He raised his sword and came to a halt. »Wifey! You are taking the kids right now so that your hubby can fight against his challenger!«

  »Well, Luca has formulated this much more charming,« Zoe said and pointed to Luca who shrugged his shoulders, smirking.

  Tom rolled his eyes and ran over to the arena. »Come on, you toe dipper! I’ll show you who is wearing the pants.«

  Luca raised his brows, let Zoe admire him for a last time and followed Tom to the arena where several curious people were already waiting.

  Mark stood in the middle of the place and read out of an old scroll. »Ladies and Gentlemen, please come and be amazed! Today, the legendary fight between Bartholomäus Sebastian Eberhart the Great,« Tom entered the arena, bowed and lifted his sword in a showing off way, »and Albrecht Wilhelm Linhardt the Third is taking place.«

  The crowd of spectators held its breath as they recognized Luca Steffen who marched off to the middle of the battle ground smiling like a hero.

  »That’s Luca Steffen,« one woman cried out.

  Bedlam broke loose.

  Mark called for the security guards and Luca promised to give out autographs so that the crowd calmed down again and Mark could beat the gong.

  Yelling, Tom approached Luca, raising his sword high above his head. »I’m going to conquer you, you lecherous player!«

  Some of the spectators laughed softly, but as the swords hit each other with a noisy bang, there was a sudden hush.

  Tom and Luca very impressively showed what they have practiced in the club. They made slow and understandable strikes in order not to bore the audience. With it, Luca saw to it that he was a little bit faster than Tom and skillfully got out of his way for several times.

  »You wanna punish me because I craved for your wife?« Luca suddenly called.

  Tom was taken aback for a second.

  This was not arranged, but Luca played his role so convincing that the audience had already come under his spell.

  Tom was feverishly thinking about what he should answer. »You’ll pay for the adultery, you dastardly villain!« He raised his sword in an angle of ninety degrees and jumped into sidestep.

  Luca parried with the short side of the blade and moved backwards. »Probably, you aren’t enough for your wife,« he called and diagonally led his sword from the top down to Tom’s rips.

  »A wife has to be modest. You villain have seduced her!« Tom blocked in front of his body and tried to make a double-handed strike.

  Luca had troubles to parry and so Tom faked to have hurt his leg and limped.

  Luca took the opportunity and stabbed at Tom’s chest theatrically perfect so that he fell down.

  »The princess is mine!« Luca called triumphantly while Tom lay on the lawn slumped together.

  The crowd applauded.

  »Daaaaaddyyyyy!«

  Tom looked up.

  A rose whirlwind left the crowd and ran over to him. »Daaaddyyyy!« Shocked, Penny pounced on him and patted his cheeks.

  »The princess has decided differently, hasn’t she?« one of the spectators yelled and made the people laugh.

  While Mark stood still at the fringe of the arena, Penny enjoyed the full attention by the audience.

  Luca raised his sword. »The princess has obviously decided to stay with you, but I can’t allow that.«

  Lu
ca whizzed towards Tom and Penny, lifted Penny up and flitted.

  Yelling, Penny lay on his shoulders and tried to stop him. »Daaaddyyyy!«

  Tom got back on his feet again and limped – feigned deeply injured – from the arena.

  The audience applauded until the three of them came back to bow.

  As promised, Luca took a seat in front of the knights’ tent and signed autographs, Elsenhauer has brought.

  Tom bought ice cream for his family and sat down in the shadow underneath a tree.

  »Luca Steffen is really amazing,« Maja got into rhapsodies.

  »You rather watch out. You’re making a mess on your pants,« Anton said and pointed at her ice cream

  »I’m going to marry him first,« Penny insisted.

  Zoe patted her hair and, finally, turned to Tom. »Are you ready to go or do you have to stay until tonight?«

  Tom was astounded. »You’re not seriously asking, are you?«

  »When do you come?«

  »As soon as I have finished.«

  »And that’s when?«

  »The event is planned until eleven p.m. I’ve got four more entries which means that I won’t be home before midnight. It’s the same procedure as every year!« Tom ate the rest of his ice cream and watched Luca diligently distributing autographs.

  »Great! That means I may look after the kids while you are having a good time.« Zoe mugged.

  »You don’t need to,« Tom replied absent-minded, »I’m also able to do it.«

  »Have you listened to me?«

  »Pardon?«

  »What do we do with the kids?« Zoe was obviously annoyed.

  Tom made a face as if he had spasmodic winds. »I’m going to call my parents if you planned to go out.«

  He stood up groaning and went to the tent to call his mother who promised to come and get the kids for the weekend.

  »Well?«

  »You can go,« Tom just said.

  Zoe hesitated. »What does that mean?«

  »My mother is coming to get the kids. They can sleep at her place,« Tom replied.

  »Thanks.« Zoe took a glance at her watch.

  »Welcome.« Without another word, Tom turned and went to the kids. He took away Penny’s ice-cream stick and scrubbed her face with a damp cloth.

  Zoe winked and disappeared.

  Tom looked after her shaking his head.